Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Things I love about being a mom

1. I love how she smiles all the time for me. She tries to be serious at times, but I never let her go with that face. I never quit until she smiles and now she does it easily. I figure it's because she knows I won't give up!

2. We have this unique connection. Not only the mom-baby bond, but now when someone does something weird or whatever we give weird looks to the person and then look at each other to acknowledge the oddity of it. I love it!

3. Having a constant companion. Sometimes it can be stressful, but there is something reassuring knowing wherever I go she goes with me.

4. Nighttime. I don't mean the lack of sleep, but putting her to bed and she is falling asleep and snuggling against me just melts me. There is a feeling of accomplishment with making it through another day and knowing we are growing together.

5. Being able to read her. At first it seemed like whenever she cried it was a guessing game, but now I know. It's so relieving knowing more now and being able to tend to her needs much quicker.

6. Watching her grow and reach milestones. I have never been so excited to see someone roll over or grab something. Seeing her developing is amazing!

7. Having someone who loves me unconditionally even when I screw up. Lily never judges me or recalls the past mistakes. Even when I let her cry it out for the 2 days whenever I came into the room to get her or try to soothe her, she would stop crying when she saw me. She then broke out into a huge smile which made me feel like the worst parent ever!

8. Going out into public with her. It's my way of showing her off to the world and loving every minute of it!!

9. The excitement I feel when I I hold her again after I have been away from her for awhile. It makes me feel like I am complete with her with me again.

I know some may wonder why I am vocalizing this on a blog, but I just had to. At times I know I take things for granted with her. This gives me the opportunity to brag more about my girl and remind myself about the little things that make me love her more and more everyday. Having a baby changes your life forever. It's no longer your life. At times I look back and think about the things I miss such as sleep and being able to pick up and go whenever I wanted, but I can't imagine my life without her anymore. There will be a day when I sleep again, when I can be more mobile and for now I want to enjoy her as much as possible.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Much needed update!

It seems like every time I have the intention to sit down and catch up on blogging I either am too tired to try or get up and literally forget what I was doing. Oh the joys of having a baby!
Speaking of joys of a baby, I love my baby girl!! Lily is so much fun to have around and I am quite lucky to be able to enjoy her everyday all day. She is already 3 months old! I remember when her cute little bum fit in the palm of my hand and she would sleep on me all day. Now she is fitting into 3-6 month clothes, rolling over (she did it 5 times yesterday!!), and sleeping much less during the day. She no longer has to sleep on either of us which is nice at nighttime and enjoys her swing which she currently sleeps in. We are trying to figure out the best transition for her from the swing to her crib. I tried the crying it out for 2 days and I was done. It was too hard to listen to her screaming in our room and then going in to soothe her only for her to react with a huge smile on her face and excitedly start flailing. I felt so awful for her to have such a positive happy reaction to seeing me when I was the one who put her in there and let her cry! I realized I would so much rather take more time and do a slower transition. I thought I was so tough only to realize I am such a softie with her. Of course there is nothing wrong with that!
Lily is doing so well during the night that when she started waking up twice during the night I thought something was wrong only to realize it's completely normal. Lily has been so good to only wake 1 time that I got spoiled by it. In the mornings when she wakes up she starts making noises and sometimes just yells out at me to notify me she is awake. Her swing faces our bed and is directly below me so when I sit up she can see me. Every morning I am greeted by her happy face and a giant smile. There is no better way to wake up!
I find that I now no longer have much time to do things for myself such as getting ready, doing laundry, etc... I have made Lily my buddy when doing these things so she isn't bored and I can play with her while working. I have to brag for a moment and say that I feel quite accomplished with being able to do these things while keeping a baby entertained. I definitely was naive in my thinking when I pictured Fred coming home from work to a clean house and dinner cooking with a happy baby in her bouncing seat. Sometimes it's more like Fred coming home to a mess with dinner still yet to be made and, sadly, sometimes a screaming baby.
Speaking of Fred, he is still working as a case manager, but is now actively seeking a therapist position. He is eager to start putting hours toward his LCSW and is wanting to get into therapy. He works so hard and comes home just to put in more hours with Lily and I. He is so good to make dinner, do the dishes, and/or take Lily so I can have a little break to do something around the house. He gets up at night to get Lily when she wakes up so I can get ready to feed her and on the weekends she is constantly spoiled by his love and attention. I feel so lucky that Fred is so actively involved with Lily and helps out a ton. Sometimes even saving what is left of my sanity. I just love him!!
As for me there is nothing really to update on. Just trying to get the hang of being a mom and getting to know Lily better each day. It's amazing how much my life revolves around such a tiny person, but how much joy I get from it. I really never thought being a mom could be this satisfying. People often ask me if being a mom is what I thought it would be. I always reply with "No. It's a lot harder than I thought, but more rewarding than I could ever imagine." Despite what kind of day I have had with Lily, at the end of it as I lay her down to sleep I continually thank God for her. My life couldn't be more blessed than it is now with a sweet sacrificing husband and a sweet happy baby girl.